Keeping romance alive even with teenage offspring

Valentines day makes you think.

Remember the days when the feet of your little ones went pitter-pat, often at 5am, and exhaustion dulled your libidinous tendencies into submission? How you looked forward to the teenage years, long lazy lie-ins and a reconnection in the bedroom department? 

But why didn’t anyone warn us about the fact that the reason why teenagers sleep so late is because they never go to bed before you do? Or that they believe privacy is a one way street? You may only enter their space with prior permission, yet they think nothing about barging into your bedroom at 1 am to tell you they can’t find their Maths book or that the wi-fi’s down. And what is it with the selective hearing impairment? How is it that they cannot hear you asking them (in your best loud but not a shout voice) to do any number of perfectly reasonable activities, but they can hear the rustle of a chocolate wrapper through 3 closed doors?

When even a chaste peck on the cheek can elicit eye rolling and gagging motions, the idea of indulging your romantic impulses within their teenage radar range is, quite frankly, a bigger passion killer than two hourly feeding schedules. Let’s face it, whilst we may like chocolate, even a big box of it is no substitute for the joy of a night of uninterrupted time together. Yes, you could go away for Valentines night but you’ll never fully relax as you fret about the party that may be rocking your foundations, or the notion that your teenagers may be satisfying their own romantic urges.

But what if you had your own little romantic Garden Escape refuge in the garden, too far from the house for them to bother mooching out to find you, but close enough for you to monitor comings and goings? Stick a sign on the door warning them to “Stay away fools, ‘cause love rules at The Love Shack”. At the very least, they’ll probably be so grossed out they won’t bother knocking and, you never know, they might go and google it and listen to some proper music for once.